You’re Not Weak. You’re Drowning.
There’s a Difference.
Pastoral depression is real, it’s serious, and praying harder is not a recovery plan.
Depression doesn’t just hurt. It poisons everything.
Every victory feels hollow. Every struggle feels impossible. Your family pays a price you never intended to charge them. Your physical health deteriorates. And if you’re fighting addiction to pornography or substances on top of it, depression is gasoline on that fire.
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Here’s what most won’t say out loud: pastors are Satan’s number one target. Depression is his favorite weapon. Not because you’re weak. Because you matter. The world needs pastors. Your church needs you. And the enemy knows that taking you out takes out everyone you were called to reach.
God called you. You show up every week as the janitor, the counselor, the marketing expert, the theologian, the preacher, the HR director, the crisis counselor, the nonprofit law expert, the supervisor, and the standup comedian. You report to a board that will never fully understand the job description they wrote for you. You are put on a pedestal by the people you lead and quietly pushed aside when you start breaking.
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You are likely underpaid, or under appreciated, or both. Nobody prepared you for the spiritual and psychological warfare you face every single week.
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That’s not a complaint. That’s just the truth.
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And here’s the harder truth: if you don’t get help, something is going to give. Your marriage. Your integrity. Your health. Your position. Maybe all of it. Depression doesn’t plateau. It progresses. And pastors are uniquely isolated in ways that make getting help feel impossible.
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I’m not a counselor. I’m a pastor who has been exactly where you are. I’m here to coach your way back before it’s too late.
THE CALLING
In 1990 I answered God’s call to pastor. Nobody warned me it was the hardest job on earth.
THE BREAKING
In 2016 I was honest with my elders about my depression. They fired me. Depression plus unemployment plus shame is a brutal combination.
THE SPIRAL
Two years to find another church. Then COVID. Then my marriage ended. Then the church closed. I was out of road.
THE EDGE
I didn’t stand at the edge. I went over it and tried to take my own life. I should not be alive. There is no clinical explanation for why I am.
THE MIRACLE
I woke up. Went to the ER expecting the worst. Doctors found nothing wrong. I don’t know why God saved my life. I just know I can’t waste it.
THE MISSION
I’m here for you because nobody was there for me. I’m the pastor who sees you. And if you’re willing to work like your life depends on it, I’ll help.
HOW I HELP
1. EXPLORATORY SESSION, $35 FOR 45 MINUTES
This is where we start. No exceptions. You come prepared with your story told in 20 minutes using the prep guide I’ll send you in advance. I’ll listen, ask hard questions, and tell you honestly whether I think I can help you. If we’re a good fit, we move forward. If not, I’ll point you somewhere better.
2. Coaching Contracts One session per week, paid monthly in advance.
| 3 months: $50 per session
| 6 months: $45 per session
| 9 months: $40 per session
Homework is required. Accountability is non-negotiable. This is not a place to vent. This is a place to work.
3. Board Coaching, $150 per hour, minimum two hours
I’ll meet with you and your board or supervisors to help them understand what you actually need before things deteriorate to the point of termination. One pre-meeting call with you. One two-hour board session. One follow-up call. Flat rate $400.
GET THE HELP YOU NEED
Your family, your ministry and your life are in the balance.
I’m Alan Danielson. I began my pastoral ministry in 1990. I has served as a lead pastor in New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Ohio, and as Executive Pastor of LifeGroups at Life.Church across 13 campuses. I have a Bachelor of Ministry and Theology from Oklahoma Baptist University and a Master of Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
I was fired for depression, watched my marriage end, and tried to die.
But I’m still here. I still believe in my calling. And I’m done pretending that pastoral ministry doesn’t break people.
I’m not a counselor. I’m a pastor who went all the way to the bottom and by God’s grace survived, bounced back and healthier than ever. If you are drowning, I see you. God helped me find a way out of the pit and I’m living proof that He can help you find a way out too!